I'm a colossal slob. Do you have any tips on how to remove stains from clothing?

 K.L., Seattle, WashingtonWe simply can't take you anywhere without your slubbering on your latest designer purchase. Not only have you become an utter embarrassment to yourself, your partner and us, but your once natty wardrobe is rapidly becoming a slatternly mess. But the damage might be reversible, if you act now. According to the International Fabricare Institute (IFI), the longer stains sit, the more firmly they settle into your garments' fibers. So the next time a glass of Merlot lands in your lap, immediately blot -- don't rub -- the stain with club soda, button your jacket and deal with it as soon as you get home. But be forewarned: Cocktail-party snafus react differently on different fabrics and need to be treated accordingly. If you've dropped a dollop of remoulade on a nonwashable garment (for instance, a silk tie), don't flirt with disaster -- send it to a dry cleaner. The same applies if you don't know the first thing about domesticity. However, if you have the time and a reservoir of patience, roll up your sleeves and start scrubbing. Consult the following guide to stain busting. But note: Sometimes all the elbow grease in the world won't budge the unruly.

Coffee: Flush the stain with cool water. Then use a home stain-removal product, such as Spray 'n Wash. You can also try a little white vinegar. Do not use regular soap, as it could make the stain permanent. Heat might also do this, so don't toss the garment into the dryer until the spot is completely gone.

Grease (from mayo to motor oil): Treat with a spray stain remover or a product with solvent. Let it sit for a while, then wash. For serious stains: Place garment stain-side down on paper towels. Apply cleaning agent to the back of stain. Blot. Replace towels. Air dry, then wash normally.

Lipstick: The combination of oil and pigment makes this stain particularly tough, so you might want to ship it off to the cleaners before any more damage is done, you devil. If you're determined to do it yourself, however, try a dry-cleaning solvent or a prewash stain remover. Then rub regular liquid detergent into the stain until the outline is gone. If whale blubber still loiters on your shirt collar, soak it in a product with enzymes. (Read the ingredients on your laundry products to ascertain which ones contain them.)

Tomato sauce: Apply a pretreatment stain remover to the area. Wait until it is absorbed, then wash. If the stain is still visible, soak the garment in a dilute solution of color-safe bleach.

Red wine: Soak the garment in cool water. Pretreat with stain remover. Wash in the hottest water safe for the fabric.

Grass: Pretreat with a stain stick or a solvent. Wash. If the stain persists and the item doesn't contain dyes that bleed, dab the area with alcohol and then wash in the hottest water allowed for the fabric.

Blood: Run cold water through a fresh stain. Then apply a detergent, such as Shout, into whatever blood mark remains. Rinse, then wash. Crusty stains should be pretreated with a product containing enzymes and then soaked in lukewarm water.

 Ink: Pounce on ink blotches immediately. Place the garment facedown on paper towels and sponge the area around the stain with a detergent or dry-cleaning solvent. Don't trust the old hair-spray or alcohol routine unless you want the ink stain to pull or the fabric's dye to run. Never use chlorine bleach. The IFI recommends you save yourself the hassle and have the garment dry-cleaned instead.-- adapted from GQ September 1999