The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

#1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
#3. Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
#4. A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
#6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
#7. Keep your ears open.
#8. Small print leads to large risk.
#9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
#10. Greed is eternal.
#12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
#13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
#16. A deal is a deal until a better one comes along.
#18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
#19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
#21. Never place friendship above profit.
#22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
#26. As The customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
#27. There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
#31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother, insult something he cares about instead.
#33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
#34. Peace is good for business.
#35. War is good for business.
#40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
#41. Profit is its own reward.
#44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
#47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
#48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
#50. Gratitude can bring on generosity.
#52. Never ask when you can take.
#57. Good customers are as rare as latinum - treasure them.
#58. There is no substitute for success.
#59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
#60. Keep your lies consistent.
#62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
#65. Win or lose, there is always Huyperian bettle snuff.
#69. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
#71. There's a customer born every minute.
#73. If it gets your profit, sell your own mother.
#75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
#76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
#79. Beware of the Vulcan greeds for knowledge.
#82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
#85. Never let the competition know what you are thinking.
#89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
#94. Female and finances don't mix.
#97. Enough is never enough.
#99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
#102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
#103. Sleep can interfere.
#104. Faith moves mountains of inventory.
#106. There is no honor in poverty.
#109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
#111. Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them.
#112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
#113. Always have sex with the boss.
#116. There's always a catch.
#117. You can't free a fish from water.
#121. Everything is forsale, even friendships.
#123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
#135. Never trust a beneficiary.
#139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
#141. Only fools pay retail.
#144. There is nothing wrong with charity, as long as it winds up in your pocket.
#153. Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
#162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
#177. Know your enemies, but do business with them always.
#181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
#184. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
#189. Let others keep their reputation. You can keep their money.
#192. Never cheat a Klingon unless you're sure you can get away with it.
#194. It is always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
#202. The justification for profit is profit.
#214. Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
#218. Always know what you are buying.
#219. Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
#223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
#229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
#236. You can't buy fate.
#242. More is good, all is better.
#255. A wife is a luxury, a smart accountant a necessity.
#261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
#266. When in doubt, lie.
#284. Deep down everyone is a Ferengi.
#285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.